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  • Writer's pictureFava

When A Friend Hold Space

I never understood the concept of “holding space”, until someone explained it to me. It is easy to tell someone how to hold space but when it is your turn to do it is way harder. When grief, depression and anxiety seated me in a corner for some time, nothing was easy, not even being a friend. My mindset was “I have lost so much, that losing someone else is not an issue”. In that situation I did not know how to how to ask or what to offer because I was completely empty. Even though during this time been a friend was hard for me, my best friend was way harder. She hold the space for me and for her; she took control over the friendship because I was not able to do my part and guided me in the right direction. She showed zero fear, judgment or shame in having to take the handles of everything. Instead, she adapted to all my versions, learned about my mental health and challenged me to face the anxiety. She hold the space to its maximum capacity and stepped aside to give me space to grow and bloom. The time of our trip arrived, she had prepared a forty hours ride plan for my birthday and besties time. She was ready to take off and to be honest she could have taken anyone with her to go on that trip but in times when I felt unease or underground she said to me: “you are safe”, “you are not alone”, “practice your breathing”. She hold the space and time and allowed me to try. She helps me to remember that not everyone leaves when times get rough. That in the weakest moments we will be standing by our sides so we can rest without fear. As we explore our surroundings and regrow, we will give each other the space we need in the friendship. So here we are in a new chapter of freedom; holding the space in our friendship even when we are seated by each other quietly looking at the water and letting all the emotions flow like a river. I thank her because even in my victories and my lows she hold the space without question so I would not be alone. Now thanks to her I learned that I can hold space for myself with the same kindness she did for me and that I can hold space for others so that they get the same opportunity as me, explore.

I am stronger and compassion with myself because each of you show me the was OK. The unconditional love come without judgement but a lot of accountability.


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