Trauma, Hell and Healing
There is a lot to see in an empty look of fear, in the failing and in a broken heart. The moment when we just want to understand how we lost ourselves in the sorrow and gray zone is when it becomes darker. The shortness in the breathing is an awareness that the anxiety has come to pay a visit. The visitor is never welcome but it is always around waiting on the right opportunity to appear. The bandage around the heart changes the flow of blood to a thicker and heavier one; is like a shield to protect us from ourselves.
I lost myself in the mix of grief, pain, suffering, frustration and anxiety. I resisted the healing from all the trauma. TRAUMA the one we live, the one we self-inflect and the one we curse generations with. The amazing word that we use but hate to face. The issue is not just the trauma, is also the way we address to it. “Hell is a place of suffering, judgement, where there is no justice, a place full of punishment that never ends” by Don Miguel Ruiz. That is the hell we create as we submit and avoid facing each trauma. Hell is adjusting to life around the pain of the past. It is living like a mental health disorder but we are prisoners of ourselves because help is for the weak. We create this hell where we are prisoners of our sins because we do not know how to forgive ourselves. We traumatize all over again every time there is zero tolerance or compassion to set of boundaries. Hell is created when the most toxic person around ourselves is ourselves. We decide to let our wounds open so that the world can see them and feel misery. It is easier to see the wound than the person that has it. That is because the process of healing is scary; is a process that takes layers off and makes you feel naked. Feeling naked is another way to say that you will be vulnerable. The Latin word *vulnus* means: the state of being open to injury or appearing as if you are. The key words are “if you are”; to be vulnerable is to be open, fearless, brave in front of the authentic, and to be transparent. Healing sets up boundaries that the old habits will not understand. As we heal, we need to accept that some people will not be next to us in the new journey; they loved the condition we had while been inside hell. We heal to stop the cycle of pain that keep hurting us and probably was going to hurt the future generations. We heal to be free of demons that no longer serve us or define us. We are the greatest master pieces. We heal because we deserve serenity, calmness and joy. We heal because we are the definition of LOVE.