To break me is not a problem or a hard task
I might wear a layer of armor to protect the soft and intimate version of myself, under this armor of independence that often displays a sense of being unbothered with a side of dissociation.
Once the armor is removed, I have to provide access to my center of vulnerability which has the essence of surrender. To those who are unaware- what looks like submission is my willingness to surrender at time to the wrong person or situation. The mix of emotions from the lack of clarity and unkind ways of communication is what triggers abuse in my vulnerability into a defense mechanism. Now my brain is playing many scenarios based on assumptions and confusion, where lack of trust is building the bridge of illusion to an unknown destination.
Here is where I forget the lesson I was mastering because the betrayal rekindles my anger. As I find a thousand reasons to armor back to find safety & surrender. Now I find the healing tools of love and forgiveness to heal the bridge between intimacy and trust.