• Fava

Once Again I Met My Yoga Mat

After a cruel pathway of self-sabotage and adopting bad habit of escaping the reality, I met my mat once again. I re met my yoga mat five years later of walking away from it. During those five years, I become maybe around twenty-five versions of myself because of a false or unrealistic expectation. The day I met my mat I was visiting one of my best friends, apparently she read my silent cry in between the lines and unsaid feelings after answering her question: “How you been?”. She said: “I have a mat for you, we have a morning yoga class before we go on our hike.” So there I was taking a 60 minute class, breathing in and out to create space to move. For me yoga is more a mental challenge than a physical one. Listening to each and every one of my thoughts through the connection of breathing and silence. I was in a fight between my ego and potential. The pose challenge arrived, for me it was sleeping pigeon pose; as I transitioned to the pose my emotion started changing. I was irritable and distracted on my right side but on the left side the tears flowed all alone. I was not angry or sad at that point, I just released all those tears. I could not fight with myself anymore, so I cried. The tears flowed till I arrived at savasana pose, in that moment my thoughts were clear and my heart at peace. I surrendered myself and all the hidden guilt, bitterness, grief, anxiety, depression, fears and vulnerability showed up. I was tired and also lost myself in my twenty-five versions of me that thought me surviving skills. Each class became my new pathway to achieve healing and acceptance. Each pose was pealing a new emotion and helped me released my past. The transitions, poses and breath grounded me to earth and kept me present to enjoy the moment. I slowly started to allow my soul to get naked because my mat was my safe place to feel and express myself. Since that day I returned to my mat and have not let it go. I realized that the wobbling in a pose is a sing of endurance. The failing in the pose is not the end of the world. Yoga became my practice of healing to be authentic and fearless. It was not about the result, it was about the transition trough each pose. It is also about finding ease in each pose including the challenging ones. One of my favorite teachers said: “ Kindness in you heart, compassion in your words and enlightenment and intuition for one and another”. It is a reminder that it is a beautiful practice and each day will be different with new challenges in which the flow and transition with ease is necessary.




26 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All