I hate introspection and the concept that comes with the term. The idea that I will slow down long enough to look inward to an examination of one's thoughts and feelings. It is a self-reflection of time and growth or radical acceptance of exactly who you are as an individual. I can only speak for myself, not all of my qualities are lovely; but they are part of me. I explore "Yin" in the Hindu tradition is the acceptance of the world as it is. Yoga practice is slowing down as the body intensifies sensitivity or the arrival of clarity. Neither outcome is appealing, but we have seasons that we do not choose to slow down, and accept the world as it is. In these stages, we have to accept the season and the outcome of the behavior one chooses to have. The season when we slow down and all the self-sabotage, self-shooting and toxic trades appear. "God resides in stillness, a stillness that is in my heart." Stillness not only allows my not-so-attractive qualities for me to sit with them for coffee, to talk about the amount of destruction they create. I take them on incredible walks through beautiful scenery, to lunch and swings in rivers. Because at some point those were the best versions of me, they keep me safe when I feel threatened. After a little time together, we understood that it's time to move on, they have been raised and outgrown. I thank them for allowing me to explore life, but I prefer to move forward at my own pace and see with my own eyes. This brings harmony because I am not ashamed or afraid of any version of me, they all help form the best version. When stillness became uncomfortable and excitement came, it means growth is happening, patience will be my best friend to evolve and transform myself.
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